top of page

The Most Under and Overused Word for Moms

Question of the day: When was the last time you told your kid "no". I bet you could raddle off at least 5 examples right now."No" is the a common in mom world. No, don't touch that. No, we aren't having that right now. No, you can't jump off the roof into the pool....

The list goes on and on of how many times and way we use the word but honestly, we rarely use it when it counts. While this seem a little backwards, hear me out.

Next question of the day: When is the last time you told someone you didn't life something, didn't agree with the plans, or just flat out didn't want to do something? Harder to remember, right?

We use the word to keep our kids safe, happy (well not in the moment but long term), and healthy but what rolls off of the tongue for them isn't used to do the same for ourselves. It's one of the biggest lessons I've learned though after having my own child though that if I want to have the life I want for myself and my family. I have to learn to not just whisper "no", but shout it as loud as I do when dinner is done.

I remember vividly talking with my husband and expressing I didn't want anyone at the hospital when I was in labor. I didn't even want anyone to know I was in labor. Call it momma bear mode kicking in or just protecting my own energy but I was adamant that everyone be kept at arms length. At first that rosey picture was crystal clear only to get muddled with grey area and other peoples wants. I said no but meakly and mildly, I didn't want to rock the boat. I was a people pleaser and didn't want to "overreact". My no was silenced because everyone elses voices were louder. They didn't just ignore my no; I let them ignore my no.

Days, weeks, months, and years it took me to not ask permission for my no to be respected.

We are taught to be kind, caring, and agreeable but it usually leaves us saying yes when we don't want to. Like everything else, small starts are most effective. Saying no to the extra event that would overbook your schedule, saying no to a food you hate, telling someone that now isn't a good time to talk---all of it will feel uncomfortable like post-partum recovery but will eventually sting a little less each time and prepare you for the big no's. "No, I won't host the holiday dinner.", "No, you can't just stop by whenever you want", and "No, I don't honestly care what you think of how I parent". (Ok, that last one is a big leap but baby steps people)


With all of this being said, I want to use an exercise that I use often in my coaching. what I love about this is its a low risk, high reward, and LOW time commitment to help take a step in the right direction. Use the graphic below and be bold---write three things you are saying no to or WANT to say no to. This is something you can keep for yourself or share and put into action. Regardless on what you choose to do with it, use this as a guiding compass towards what you want to do less of. Try to make this about YOU, not about others. We live and breathe for our kids, family, and loved ones but make these no's something that would benefit you.

YOU are worth the effort and time---take it!

5 views0 comments


  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • TikTok
  • Pinterest
bottom of page