Finding a friend is hard , finding a mom friend is harder, finding a mom friend who kids get along with your kid is damn near impossible.
Between school drop off, pickup, the endless birthday parties, and forced get togethers, we all make pleasant talk with one another to pass the time. It mostly consists of "Oh hows so and so doing with their reading", "Where are you signing them up for summer camp?", or "Did you hear about the new school dress code?". Don't get me wrong, it's not that other moms aren't wonderful but we all have our "fit" for friends and sometimes it's just not a match.
I personally really struggled to find fellow mom friends who seem to speak similair languages, have parenting styles that mimic the same ideals, and overall are just real. I always assumed that was because of the area I lived in but it talking with more moms as well as my clients, it became more and more apparent that this struggle was the majority, not the minority. Faced with that bleak realization, what are we left to do?
Well, we don't have any tissues to dry our tears (the kids stuffy noses used them all up) so let's put on the super mom cape and figure out how to make some new friends! *Full disclosure you should know that I wrote that while hearing Poppy from Trolls in my head*
Don't judge a mom by the yoga pants: That's to say, we all have our moments of not looking "put together". We have stains, rips, mismatched socks, some of us didn't bounce back after baby, some of us may look like we just stepped out of a magazine, it's all relative. Don't get caught up on the exterior.
Try to not bury your brilliance in the phone: As tempting as it can be to pull out the phone and scroll through social media, it can become a crutch as well. When I am around my kid in general I try to stow away my phone and keep this rule when I am with others as well. Being on your phone may seem harmless but it's like a big red stop sign for people trying to approach you. Put it down, feel a little akward at first, and then try to strike up a convo.
Friends make friends: You hear from your kids ALL the time on who they are talking to at school and which kid they always seem to want a play date with. Chances are that if your kid likes them that much, there is at least a better percentage that the parents can't be THAT bad.
Be yourself: Yes, this sounds like a fortune cookie or a self help book but it's true. Don't dull your fun or sparkle to fit in. It may take some time but you will find the ones that you mesh with. It took me approximately 5 years to find mom friends and it was worth the wait to find the ones I click with. They embrace my quirkiness , share similar ideals, and enjoy so many of the same activities. It's like anything else, you find people that are super nice along the way and then randomly you find some that just work.
What's the hardest part of finding mom friends for you? Schedules, opposing views, just don't seem to know where to start?
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