First off, thank you so much for everyone who submitted their questions---it's always a good day to be reminded that we are all in the trenches together and run into so many of the same things. We know we aren't alone but we can also forget it just as fast while we wander through the haze of mom life.
We won't waste time and will dive right in but as always remember I am not a medical doctor and you should always follow the advice of your doctor, therapist, etc. My responses are based on my own experiences, ideals, and knowledge.
Question: I have really let my health slide over the past year. I WANT to move and want to feel better but it just doesn't seem possible. I used to work out for an hour plus before having to go back into the office but just can't recreate it now that I'm back. Do I have too high of expectations?
Answer: First off, we all HAVE expectations for ourselves, and very rarely are they fair to us. Going back to the office is a big transition. We view it as just a location change but it's a lifestyle change overall between commute, comfort, and time management. First and foremost you have to realistically look at your day/days and see if morning or evening will be more doable. The next step is changing the narrative that long workouts are the only way to go. Small and impactful not only has its benefits but also breeds confidence and consistency. A walk around the parking lot while taking work calls (if you can), an evening bike ride, a bite-sized strength training routine, it all adds up and will release the exercise endorphins and trigger your brain to want it again and again making it easier to find a reason to do it vs a reason to skip it. One of my favorite things is my 10x10x10 workout which some of my clients even do when making dinner. There are 2 options linked HERE to test out and use as a jump start. Overall, I always repeat the same thing to myself when I have a hard time doing it: Any forward motion is motion forward, anything counts
Question: I hate, HATE, trying to pretend play. I didn't enjoy pretending when I was a kid and don't like it now as an adult. My kids want me to play with them but I find it incredibly boring to try and force myself to play like that. Please tell me I'm not the only one...
Answer: You are not alone. Even being a creative person myself I get pretty worn out when I'm told I'm not "doing it right". Playtime can be so awesome but equally exhausting, I more than likely need something to physically do or I get bored. Some of my favorite options are magnet tiles, Lego, drawing, or something of that nature. I find this helps their imaginations and allows them to pretend without us having to manufacture it all from scratch. Much easier to build or draw a castle to create a story with than willing a pillow to be anything but a pillow. I've shared some low-cost, low-effort crafts on my Instagram that can be used as is or changed up to use as you need!
Question: Even being a few years removed from the baby/toddler stage, I still feel touched out. I don't mind hugs and cuddles but sometimes I just reach my limit and want to be left the heck alone and then feel insanely guilty after cuz everyone always reminds me I'll miss it someday. It's a vicious cycle and doesn't help my regular everyday mom guilt.
Answer: I am 6+ years in and still have this feeling. I don't think it's a matter of it being normal/abnormal but specific to each of us. I find the weight of physical needs and verbal needs create a double whammy of sorts. When they are babies we have to deal with the crying and the need for us to hold them but then as they get older they add in being able to talk to us too---It's amazing and draining all at the same time. I try to use my bouts of feeling touched out as a teaching moment for my little one. I explained that I would absolutely give a hug but needed a bit of space at the moment and then either set them up with an activity, or stuffed animal, or give a task for them to complete. It shows to advocate what you need, shows them affection, and takes the attention off of what they aren't getting by giving them a new focus. Does it work all the time? No, that's just the gamble that we have to take with kids but it's worth a shot! Also, don't get too caught up in "one day you'll miss this", we know we will but we are allowed to have human moments too.
Have questions that you want some unfiltered mom advice on? Send them to Info@momlifeschmidt.com or DM on Instagram. Names won't be used and as always there is ZERO judgement. Mom Life is hard---we all are in this together and need "Unfiltered and Honest Advice"
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