Introducing a new feature to the site:
Ask a Mom: Unfiltered and Honest Advice
There is a reason that we watch movies like Bad Moms and follow moms that are unfiltered. Most of us think the same thing: We LOVE our kids, we would do anything for them, and yet we are completely and underly exhausted.
For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a mom. I was the kid with a baby doll always in her hand and playing house every chance I got. It may be an unpopular admission but my life goal was always to be a mom, the rest I figured I'd fill in as I went.
After I got married we waited a few years to start a family and we were so excited to find out we were expecting. Nothing though prepared me for the sudden switch of excitement turning to dread. WHAT HAD I DONE?! Immediately, the reality of having a whole other human being became like an elephant sitting on my chest. I always knew that having a kid would be life-changing but now that life was actually changing I felt so underprepared.
To those contemplating kids, are currently pregnant, or a brand new mom, I wish I could tell you that this is going to end like a rom-com with peppy music but motherhood doesn't go like that. It's not a rom-com, a horror movie, or a glossy biopic. It's messy, wonderful, and a journey that is going to be unique for everyone.
There are a million books about changing diapers, feeding schedules, how to teach them to read, potty training, and all the other things about keeping a tiny human happy and healthy. Moms are constantly sharing stories about how the kids took their first steps and what they wish they knew when they had the first kid---we are the queens of TMI of all the things. One thing that we don't lead with though is all the "schmidt" that we deal with while being a mom.
Postpartum depression and anxiety talks seem to have an expiration date or we make others uncomfortable. Saying we are exhausted is met with a bunch of people telling us that we need to relax, take"us time", all while they wonder why we can't keep a spotless house, make six figures, AND solve world peace. Plus don't even get me started on how our jobs or choice to stay at home because a free-for-all all topic that will never have the right answer because everyone else seems to know better.
We don't stop being humans when the 2 lines appear, the adoption papers are finalized, or when we hear "Mom" for the first time. We are full humans with emotions and needs that never end.
It took me years to grasp the fact that it was ok for me to not be a super mom. I get how ridiculous that may sound but in the newborn and postpartum haze, I felt like I wasn't fulfilling what I was supposed to. Eventually, I realized that I was doing what I was meant to do: keeping the tiny human happy, fed, and taken care of. I had to let go of the glossy bullsh*t that was sold to me and the narrative that great moms put themselves last. I didn't have other moms around me that could relate to what I was going through. Everyone I knew either really did have an easy transition or glossed over the reality that sh*t was hard. Which is were I come in to bust this sh*t wide open!!!
I am determined to be the voice that gives the unfiltered accounts from newborn, toddlerhood, and beyond. Think of this like "Dear Abby" but for moms by a mom who has been there. Nothing is off limits, nothing is taboo, and I promise to give the most honest mom advice I can.
What type of mom truths do you need and want? Email me and ask away because sometimes we all need a mom to help us.
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